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Writing a Higher Self letter

January 31, 20243 min read
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    Nov 24, 2021

    3 min read

Writing a Higher Self letter

Updated: Jan 31, 2022

An exercise to request behavior change or understanding


Sometimes in our life we’re at our wit’s end trying to figure out how to get through to someone we care about. It seems we have tried everything we know how to do to get them to understand something that is important to us or to make a change in their behavior. They just “don’t get it.”

Here is a technique that can work miracles.

We are going to write a letter that we do not send to the other person.

We write a letter to their Higher Self from our Higher Self. Here are the steps.

  • We must first get connected to our own Higher Self. To do this, we might need to meditate, pray, listen to inspirational music, whatever it takes to get “tuned in.” We are making a “heart - brain coherence connection.”

  • The letter is not to air grievances, but to ask for understanding, a willingness for them to change their behavior.

  • We are writing a letter from our Higher Self to their Higher Self.

  • You can start the letter with – Dear Higher Self of ______________ (person you are writing to).

  • The request for change/understanding does not have to be a major thing – when first attempting this exercise, it’s often more effective to start with a small request.

  • The request might be something that you could just tell the person directly – something you’d like them to do or understand, but you don’t want them to make the change just because you requested it, but you want them to decide to change from their own inner awareness.

  • While connected to your Higher Self (which means you are coming from a loving place within yourself) write down your request. Finish the letter with the intent that the results be “for the Highest Good of All Concerned.”

  • When completed, use your imagination to “send” the letter to the other person – you might imagine putting the message into the basket of a hot air balloon and releasing the balloon, letting go of the message as well as the desire to control the outcome.

  • Destroy the physical letter, burn it, tear it up, run it through a shredder.

  • Go about your day – let the Universe deliver this message and orchestrate the outcome. You have released both the message and the desire to control the results completely.

  • Example of a simple request for change:

  • A friend of mine had a teenage daughter who lived primarily with her mother. When she would come to visit, she would not take any responsibility for helping out around the house, clean her room or lend a hand with any of the chores. My friend wanted his daughter to change her behavior, but not in a resentful way because he had told her to or just to comply with his request. He knew the change would be more effective and longer lasting if it was her idea, her decision, coming from her inner awareness, her desire to change. He wrote a letter to his daughter’s Higher Self. He meditated and tuned into his love for his daughter and his desire for any change to be for the “Highest Good of All Concerned.” He wrote the letter from this perspective, went through the releasing process and then shredded it.


The next time his daughter came to visit, without anyone saying anything, she started helping around the house, offering to wash the dishes, clean up her room, even taking out the garbage. He was delighted and his daughter felt more connected to the family.


(This picture is not my actual daughter)

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Deerhawk Enterprises, LLC

Richard V Dalke, MS

Counselor, coach, Clinical EFT Practitioner, author

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